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Elizabeth has peed everywhere from Alaska to Tasmania without ever being arrested. She currently resides in Kelly, WY and passes her time making snacks, eating them and splitboarding.

PEEING IN PUBLIC PLACES: TIPS FOR WOMEN

To many, this may seem like a benign and crude topic. Why would someone ever write about peeing in public? Do we want public urinaters running our towns, peeing all over our streets? I am not advocating that. If you have a safe place to use the bathroom, please do so. This article is about prevention. Prevention of rushing and running around like a maniac just because you got to go. The following article may assist you in relief.

STEP ONE: 

Select proper ground.

When possible, always face in the downhill direction of slope. On steep slopes, this minimizes the spray factor. If peeing by a trail, pee on the downhill side so that liquid matters can be out of sight and out of mind

If possible, find softer ground to eliminate possibilities of urine deflection on legs, socks and upper pant area.

Find a nice secure spot.

The higher off the ground you are, the harder to hold the position, but the least possibility for splattering.

Consider environmental factors.

Avoid peeing in streams, and note wind direction. It is important to take note of all weather considerations when peeing. Most importantly, wind velocity. On a freezing day, there’s nothing worse than being mid pee and noticing it’s just blowing back onto you and freezing to your skin and clothes.

STEP TWO:

Pee with confidence. A solid steady stream minimizes dribbles and keeps you clean.

Note- A lighter pee may sometimes be required on rocky terrain to minimize spray back

STEP THREE:

The wipe. There are many ways to approach the final wipe.

A. Find a nice leaf. (Personally, I don’t recommend this technique as I have had several bouts with misidentification and have ended up with severe poison ivy.)

B. Snow. Snow can be your best friend in times of trouble. Just mold it into a small firm tool, and use. Highly recommended for backpacking trips to give you that fresh clean feeling you just can’t get anywhere.

C. Back pocket bandana. This is possibly the most nifty idea yet. For those who want that dry comforting feeling of home without the trash. Find a thin bandana and keep it in your back pocket. Rinse and dry daily.

D. Shake and go.

Forget about it, shake that jazz and move on.

ADVANCED TECHNIQUES:

The Stand up- I’m a personal advocate of the stand up while summer hiking. It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s discrete and accurate. All ya gotta do is stop, find a nice view standing with legs more than hip width apart, pull shorts all the way to one side of (key factor), and go. I recommend the shake to finish it off. This technique comes in handy if you are being attacked by mosquitoes and don’t want large bites in those sensitive areas, or if you are climbing and in a harness.

 The Squat Stand- This technique can be useful on those mornings where you rush out of the house for some fresh powder and 8 runs later, the coffee is knocking on heavens door, but your friends don’t want a break. Assuming you’re a fast skier, this is a great way to go without having to rip off your skis.

Technique: Find tree for balance and assume high squat position with skies wide apart. Pull Pants down and forward. Be sure they are out of the way! (Gortex is not a good drying conduit so precision is necessary). Lean forward, poke butt back and go. Be sure you aren’t hitting your skis to avoid potential ice up.

The Kneel Down- This technique is best done in a skirt but it is possible in shorts as well. It is most convenient in more public environments where you need to pee, but there is no coverage and only open meadow or grassy terrain.

Technique: Begin kneeling and bow knees in, bringing calves and but to ground (Kind of like the bottom part of childs pose). Pull skirt out of fall line, and go. This is an important time to note ground patterns, as you are kind of kneeling down and do not want to end up swimming in your own puddle. If in public-type place where people will wonder what you are doing, whip out a journal or examine a flower during urination… They will just assume you’re being introspective and leave you alone.

Learning how to pee in various environments can be a liberating experience for all. So go ahead, increase your hydration, note the color, and practice those techniques! As far as “Number 2” goes, we’ll touch on that another time.

Thanks Elizabeth!